2006: The Year Zafirah Grew Up

It's almost 2007 and the last 12 months have been amazingly different for me. I was allowed to live a childhood dream that I've fantasized about for the last 10 years...and I was also allowed to grow up and be an adult, taking on responsibilities and making decisions that I never thought were possible.

Time for the annual "Top 10 Things That Rocked My World" list...

1) My mom's cancer. Just those three words have turned me into a person that I never thought I would be within the last 12 months. I'm slowly getting rid of the negative energies in my life and surrounding myself with good people. It also allowed me to realize just how much I love my family and just how hard it is to balance your life when you are so far away from home. Being the eldest, it has helped me to step up and take charge of certain things in my life that I thought were things that I didn't even need to bother about. The tears, the worries and the heartbreak, everything has made me grow up suddenly.

2) BSB concert in Singapore. I was waiting for this moment since I was 12. And the moment did not disappoint. In fact, there were moments. Going on MTV, actually meeting some of the Boys, being able to meet Kevin before he left BSB, and of course, meeting some awesome peeps from the BSB gang, every single moment is cherished. And the concert itself, as everything I had wanted it to be. My childhood dream came true...heee...

3) The return of the O.C. Nothing much on this front, but it deserves a number 3 spot simply cause it's proof that even if something looks like it's gonna just fade out, it doesn't.

4) The floods in JB. Made me realize just how much I love this stupid state. LOL....JB's home for me now, too..

5) My life in Singapore. I actually really have a life there. I have the bestest girlfriends there. I love going back there. Going back and forth daily is something that I would be very glad to do

6) My heart is always a topic..but this time, it might be the last...lol...what the heck am I saying? All I can say is that, I fell for someone this year, and although I think I might have fallen out of it as well, it's ok...cause my heart is breathing again, and that's all that matters..

7) The number of new friends that I've made. I realized that sticking to one set of people is not the way to live life. You close yourself out to others who can and will enrich your life even more...you are only scared of what you don't know..to be scared of that is just cowardly.

8) Veronica Mars. Nancy Drew revisited. Another childhood dream coming true...now that the Nancy Drew movie is coming out as well, it's gonna be awesome to see such an integral icon come to life.

Well, I know that I'm short of 2 more things on this list, but I can't seem to recall anything much or significant that has happend within the last year. What I do know, though is that my life has been touched by some really wonderful people and I'm glad to call them my friends.

*smiles*

Selamat Hari Raya and Happy New Year, guys...




*hugs Blogger* I never knew how much I loved you until I lost you two days ago...cheh...so drama like that...but yeah...my heart goes out to those affected by the Taiwan earthquake AND to those affected by the internet disruption. I don't know which is worse, really, but not being able to go online? It sucks big time. But the connections are getting better and that's a relief...I can now get back to working on my assignments slowly...which is a good thing...

On the flood front though, it's getting better as well. After the second round of floods this week, Johor's still as damp as ever, but again, the JBrians have picked themselves up and everyone's working to turn the city clean again. I was in the bus going back to JB with Hani and as I looked out of the window, I saw the rescue helicopter..it hit home that people are still battling this.

I love you Joss Whedon! With this, it means that Buffy will be back, although in comic book form...as long as Buffy will be around, and Angel might come around too, I'm happy.. They have some previews of the comic at the site that I've linked you guys to...Credit goes to them, definately.

It looks good and I like it...that's all I could have asked for, for another shot to tie up loose ends, as Joss said. And although there is no hope for Buffy to ever remember again what happened to her first visit down in LA, it's ok...for one moment, Buffy and Angel were together...*sap*

































I finally caught up with The OC and the Chrismukkah episode was a lot of fun. It's the final goodbye to Marissa and *sigh* I loved the way Ryan had his own moment with "her" at the lifeguard post. I mean, where else should they end it unless it's at the one place where they could really truly be alone...I liked the whole idea of it all...it was just so poignant. And the letter was a nice touch...if this really is the last season then at least The OC is going off with a bang.

Whatever it is, if Benzie's there, then it's ok..me like the new Ryan a lot...





Ok, so let's just cut to the chase. I like Logan. I like Christopher. I like Logan with Rory and I like Christopher with Lorelai. Although many will disagree with me over the Christopher and Lorelai angle, I don't care. Although most will say that David Sutcliffe will only be around for this season, again, I don't care. I just like them four together and that's that...



Oh why can't I EVER meet a guy like GG-Logan or VM-Logan? Rich, slightly arrogant, quietly caring and ridiculously smart? I need a guy who can put me in my place dammit, not someone who only wants to shower love and affection. Too much lovin annoys me...show me intelligence and respect for my independence and we're all set... but nobody's perfect right? *sighs*

But just once, can I know how it feels? To be noticed in that manner? To be able to have my own space and still have that one guy who will not let me down? To have someone I am comfortable to cry to when I need to let it all go?


My uncle's, aunt's and granduncle's families have now evacuated their homes due to the flood. Everyone's in Muar and most of them have gone to my grandma's house. It's really really bad...getting worse and worse...

I really don't even know what's going to happen but I'm sure that soon, all this will be over..till then, everyone has to pitch in and help. We haven't gone to see my grandma yet cause the roads leading into Muar are blocked. *worried furrow of brows*

My heart and prayers go out to all those affected by the flood. JB's flooded, Johor's flooded, Singapore flooded. It's now deemed as the worst flood of the century. Alhamdulillah, my home and my family are fine..but I can't say the same for everyone else.

My great grandmother had to move out of her home to my grandma's house because the water from the river in front of her house has now reached her home. Skudai is a mess, with mud and sludge everywhere. I was coming into JB and I saw the shop owners silently pushing back the water with squeegies, solemn. It's heartbreaking to see everything in JB moving slower than usual because of the flood.

I wasn't even suppose to go back this weekend cause the highway at Tangkak was closed until last night. The bus sped through the highway quickly but we could see the water brimming at the same height as the road. As in, literally, there's the road, and next to it is the rain water.

*sighs* You won't know tragedy until it happens to you personally. And already, with the sight of the rubbish stuck against fences that are 6 feet hight, my heart is breaking. For those who have lost their homes, for those who have lost their loved ones and for those who have lost pretty much everything.

I guess I never really knew how much I loved Johor till now... I'm glad that many have started their lives again..that's the beauty of this state. Everyone moves quickly. And it's good to see that.


I'm tired. Every cell in my body is screaming for me to stop. And to have lecturers who do not believe in the programs that you are handling and refuse to give you the budget that you are rightfully dued? I'm trying to be patient about this but it's hard. I hate it when people do last minute work. I hate it when people to slishot work. And I especially hate it when people do not distribute work accordingly.

*sighs* I dunno..I just hate work that's postponed. All that last minute rush, it annoys me. It annoys me to a point where I don't actually care. I WON'T care and I'll leave it alone, refusing to work on it. That's the bitch in me. I know that people will curse and call me irresponsible but in the end, when you look at it closely, you'll realize that it won't be me that started the whole damn mess.

*frumphs*

Besides, I have a life. Sorry if you don't.

My girlfriends are back from Bangkok. Am actually talking to Mariam on MSN now...it's cool that all three of us have seen Bangkok now...heee...Wish I could have been there with them...Should be meeting up with them during my mid-semester break. We'll see how it'll go...



Apart from discovering that Lee Hom's concert in Malaysia will be on 3rd March at Stadium Merdeka, I haven't been in the loop...crap..I'm losing my touch..I HAVE to update myself with the latest gossip...

Outta

To Liza and Syima, love you girls...really...I guess that was my random post-rant that we tend to get into once in a while when we don't realize it..lol..but yeah...thanks dears... *muahz*

Everything is so blardy tunggang langgang on campus right now. I don't mind it so much when I know what I'm doing and I'm seeing things progress. But I do mind it very much when I have no head or tail about what's going on and I'm being questioned on those things. Adoi...come on lah...I'm not a mind-reader and neither am I a miracle worker. All I am is a person who wants to see these things happen without making a fool out of ourselves. But one thing for certain is, although this may paint me as a selfish bitch, is that I don't like it when things collide with my holidays.

When I'm suppose to go home, I'm going home. I don't care. Call me spoilt or arrogant, that doesn't matter. What does is that when something could have been done earlier on was not done, don't expect me to pay for the consequences.

*hurmph*


Ok...

Blardy hell. Friendster is blocked on campus. Full of bull lah these people sometimes.

Well, my TV schedule is out of the window. How do you expect me to keep up with the shows when I can't even have torrents here? I CAN have it in the room but then again, think about it. The wireless here is crap. I can't download a proper file without it breaking up here and there. Even the MP3s are screwed up to no end. So yeah...sorry to say, me have to wait till I go back before I can download my OC, GG (now that xtopher's back for a while), Heroes, V Mars (that are on a break) and all the other stuff.



Outs.

I know that I have some awesome people around me and I can't help but feel blessed to have been touched by these people.

Especially at times like these when all I wanna do is curl up into a ball and just cry my eyes out (which I just did just now considering it's after 2am), these are the people that make me reflect my life and thank God that they have given me strength and tell me that they do care.

To each and everyone of you who has wished me and my mom well during the last two weeks, thank you so much from the bottom of my heart. Your kind thoughts have honestly helped me through a lot the last few days. Really, thank you.

To Mariam, thank you for coming down with your mom to the hospital to visit. *smiles* I'm just thankful that you and Faezah are my friends, seriously. I know that we seldom talk let alone see each other, but I'm glad that you guys remember despite the geographical distance between us. Primary school may have left us but I'm glad our friendship is stronger than that.


Reality hit hard for me when I had to go back to Singapore during the weekend to take care of her. I know that I might sound emotional and what not but to the eldest in the family and to make sure that everyone is coping well at home, it's hard. I know it's my responsibility and I do it without even thinking. But it's hard. Really hard. And to come up with a silly excuse for being pouty or blur at times because you have no strength to answer people's questions without crying, it's the toughest of all.

People don't understand sometimes, just how much pain a person can go through. I'm not saying what I'm facing is tough as opposed to others who may be experiencing something else much more critical. I'm just saying that sometimes, I wish that people can understand that not everything in this life is smooth-sailing or easy. Sometimes, though a minor thing, a person might perceive something as gigantic. Let them. You don't know how they are feeling inside.

Don't try to understand, but try to be there for them when they need you most. I'm glad I have the people I love around me. To me, now, that's all that matters.


* To those who don't know what I'm talking about, please don't be offended. I'm not saying that you're a bad friend. Thing is, I'm, by nature, difficult in terms of letting some of my most personal thoughts out. I usually need the right time. If I haven't said anything, that means that I still need time...again, please don't be offended

*pokes head into Farah and Syima's blogs and notices that they didn't update during the week either* Penat laaaaaaahhhhhhhhhhhh..... This week has been HORRENDOUS! Before classes even started, the drama had already begun. With the stupid issue about seniors being forced to to take another class because some juniors are just selfish enough to not allow us to finish those courses first to lecturers having to stuff more than 100 students into a class, I was going crazy.

And yes, referring to Farah's blog, we girls are going through Download Withdrawal. And yes, the only way to cure this is to pile up on the downloads as much as you can. Which is what I am doing right now...even brought back my external hardrive...

And my bus was extremely late today. I was supposed to go straight to Singapore to go to KK hospital but since it was 2 hours late, I decided to drop off at JB where my dad fetched me. Tired lah wei...my butt hurst so bad with all the extreme sitting and standing up...but I'm going tomorrow to get my books and to watch over my mom. That means I have to go around the city from City Hall to Raffles Place to see if they have my books..I hope they do...

But to my girls who are equally stressed out from classes and the drama pertaining to classes, hang in there...I know I am trying...*sighs* it's hard when you have things happening on campus and at the same time, your family needs you too..



Eh, there are some cute spectators in the Doha games. Lol...I'm not watching the sport but rather the spectators..I'm still boy crazy Firah...











Mariah's new remix of Don't Forget About Us is SICK, ya'll. Since it's DJ Clue, it's bound to sound way different from the original song. And I think Fabulous is also rapping in the song..the video is a typical Mariah remix video..with shots of her in the studio and also all over the place while preening into the lens. That's normal..but I seriously love the song...

I seem to have changed my taste in men recently. I don't know what came about the change or why, but yeah...no longer am I attracted to those pretty boys that look like "a nice guy" that I'm so famously known to like.

Instead, I'm liking those young executives in suits...the ones that are quiet but have important things to say when they open their mouths. They don't make a spectacle of themselves and are able to say no when it needs to be said. They make decisions without thinking twice and they stay true to those decisions. Above everything else, they are the type that don't really show to you that they are into you but the way they care for you or worry about you shows just how much that they really do. And they lay their heart on the line by making a move first, instead of waiting for the girl to say something (a crime most BOYS seem to do nowadays). They make you fall for them.

Clear example would be Bill Rancic. Dear lord...that's one clear CLEAR example..but yeah...something about those suits...and I guess in a way it shows that they know how to carry themselves well, and that they are diciplined.

*sighs*


On another note, the Doha Asian Games have begun and although I'm not much of a sports participant, I am, however, a very active sports supporter...and for every major sporting event, there's ONE event that I am always interested in.

Swimming.

Lol...of course there's the physical aspect of it all...but nah..I've always loved swimming..used to swim in primary school..and


I finished my download for Entourage season 3. It took me a long time cause there's limited space on my computer so I had to get Heroes, V Mars and OC done before finishing it up. Gah...Vincent Chase rocks my socks. Wait, Adrien Granier!!! I just love the show...love love love.

Some say it's the male Sex And The City..I say, I dunno cause it's just a smart show...


Do you know how hard it is to download the latest episode of The OC? I've been waiting for 2 days now and finally, FINALLY it's here. Won't take me long to get it done, thank goodness but still....I was almost worried that I'd have to download it on campus and that is not good news cause I don't know how bad the wireless connection will be. But yeah...I'm getting it this time, so good...

Taylor and Ryan...it's one storyline that'll be interesting to see. I've been catching up on the Season 3 epyys and it's kinda funny to see how she's evolved. Not many actors can bring that aspect out, no matter how good the script may be. But still, of all the seasons, season 3 has got the best Benzie hair in my opinion.


I'm going back to campus tomorrow people...so...*sighs* That means loads of updates on Live Journal and not here...