This is a Downton Abbey Post.

I woke up at 4am this morning to catch Downton Abbey live because I knew that I wasn't going to be able to wait until I got home from work to download the episode without suffering from cold sweat throughout the whole day.

So. The aftermath of that episode? My face in full make up because I needed to put on a lot of gunk to conceal my swollen eyes.

The episode wasn't depressing. It was FUCKING depressing.

And although I was half-asleep watching it, my tired mind couldn't escape the misery that was Captain Matthew Crawley first unconscious and then paralyzed from the leg down.

AND MARY. Dear Lord, Mary. MARY. OH MARY MARY MARY. Michelle Dockery, your facial expressions are killer. The worst ones, the ones that made me wail outwardly were the ones where she didn't even have to say anything. And when she walked away after telling Matthew that he will never be able to walk again?

And when Isobel finally came to visit Matthew and he said, "Mother," and that was all I need to cry again and then sob and then miss my own mommy because you know, he can be a hot ass captain but even captains need their moms.

And and and WILLIAM. OMG WILLIAM. THAT BOY. HE WINS ALL THE AWARDS because I mean he was pushing Daisy to marry him and I bet everyone's all, "WTH. First Ms Padmore and then now William?" and then actually, he wanted to marry her because he wanted to make sure she received his pension WHEN HE DIES and that was when we realized how much he loves that girl although she's really just "rather fond of him" only and

AND THEN HE DIED. THAT LAST SCENE. Daisy was ready to take care of him and his dad was there and suddenly his dad told her that William didn't need anyone to take care of him anymore and I just... *CRIESSSSSSSS*

WHY IS THIS SHOW SO FUCKING DEPRESSING AND WHY AM I SO INVESTED IN THIS SHOW AND WHY DID MAGGIE SMITH GET THE PERFECT LINE EVER WITH,"I HAVE A COLD," BECAUSE THAT WAS JUST AHHHHHHHHHH.

*SOBS*

I feel bad for Lavinia but omg Matthew and Mary, please...just...get together, perform miracles that only exist in Historical romance novels where Mary can nurse him back to health and suddenly he can walk and even if he can't then at least they can make perfect babies and then we'll all be happy.

Also WTH Fellowes? BRANSON AND SYBIL SHOULD HAVE KISSED.

THIS SHOW. I HAVE SOLD MY SOUL TO THIS SHOW.